Being in a situation where I am in the process, I can say that it is one of the most painful things ever..I'm sure those of you that have gone through it know this..the fear that comes from the breaking of a relationship with the person you thought you'd be with for life..the hopes dreams, aspirations etc...all gone.
The biggest issue is whether or not you will ever be able to move on. All of my friends who have gone through it tell me "You'll be better off", or "Best thing they ever did"..it's hard to fathom right now but I'm sure it's true. We generally go through the Kubler Ross stages in a divorce much like dying: Denial,Anger,Bargaining, Acceptance..denial is often the longest part...the second guessing, the desperate attempts to keep the marriage intact...I've been slowly moving into the acceptance phase..but I'm sure that when those documents arrive I will experience the pain all over again...the bright side is that my split is amicable and though I am the one filing, I was not the "guilty" party, so to speak
DIvorce is the best thng when the people involed have nothing that can be saved.
I know i have grown more int he 4 years i have been divorced than i did the 19 years i was married. I was stiffled (yeah like edith and archie) I was forced intot situations that i wasnt comfortable and was put nto the position of peacekeeper.
If I am not happy and he is not happy what are we doing to the kids? kids deserve happy parents and if divorced parents are happy then the kids are happier!
I have accepted my partof the failure of the mariiage..and i have moved on I now believe that I am worthy of a man that will love me for whom i am...not who he wants me to be.
and if he doesnt liket he fact that I am happy that is his issue not minel...I finally realized that his happiniess is his responsibility...not mine!
pinkpunch write:
life is great... im divorced and im my own boss no one to answer to... my kids r happy (happiest iv ever seen them)... wats the point of stayin at sumfin if u hav tryed to the point of tryin to hard and everyone is misserable.... DIVORCE .... but then better still dont get married hahaha
ride safe pink
"Ride Safe"?.......I hope you wear more cloths than that on your scooter!.
life is great... im divorced and im my own boss no one to answer to... my kids r happy (happiest iv ever seen them)... wats the point of stayin at sumfin if u hav tryed to the point of tryin to hard and everyone is misserable.... DIVORCE .... but then better still dont get married hahaha
ride safe pink
AND I am much happier now since my divorce, I lOVE my life now!!! I love being able to do what I want to do and when, and date when I want to, .. dont get me wrong I have lived with men since my divorce, and did fall in love again, but out looking again, but married again? hmmmmmmmmm why to let the lawyers get rich? and anyway I enjoy dating different men now and having fun times.. harleys,line dancing horseback riding, etc... and dating, well,
It is like hmmmmm that apple pie is good, but hey LOOK that peach one is better, teheeee
Divorce was the best thing I did
and I am happy with meeeeeee
NYBikercowgirl
I quote >Haasy
Right on girl !!!!
AND I am much happier now since my divorce, I lOVE my life now!!! I love being able to do what I want to do and when, and date when I want to, .. dont get me wrong I have lived with men since my divorce, and did fall in love again, but out looking again, but married again? hmmmmmmmmm why to let the lawyers get rich? and anyway I enjoy dating different men now and having fun times.. harleys,line dancing horseback riding, etc... and dating, well,
It is like hmmmmm that apple pie is good, but hey LOOK that peach one is better, teheeee
Divorce was the best thing I did
and I am happy with meeeeeee
Hey I agree with you.I have three grown
children so for me life is great and I'am enjoying it,yes there is two sides to every story. Yes sometimes both lose and on the other hand it is not always that way only one loses. But the best part of the divorce is you are free to live again and enjoy what you were missing out on. You know
no one really know what really happened.The only thing to say is that it was not mean't to be. So look at it as a lesson learned the hard way.
The lesson I learned was never take anything for grant make sure you know your mate inside and out before you take the big leap.
Hey I agree with you.I have three grown
children so for me life is great and I'am enjoying it,yes there is two sides to every story. Yes sometimes both lose and on the other hand it is not always that way only one loses. But the best part of the divorce is you are free to live again and enjoy what you were missing out on. You know
no one really know what really happened.The only thing to say is that it was not mean't to be. So look at it as a lesson learned the hard way.
The lesson I learned was never take anything for grant make sure you know your mate inside and out before you take the big leap.
i know this as well very difficult to take it all at face value but you still got to enjoy yourself on the journey that what i am doing now and whenever i can i hit the road i know if i service my bike/s they service me lol. But if you dont give anything you get nothing back. oh heck sometimes you just wanna get laid and sometimes you just want a bit more. But I would definately agree dont jump too quick take yer time. you don't know who's around the next bend lol
There is always two sides and both lose something. I cant ever see me getting married again. At the moment it is hard to even date as I have three kids the dog the cat and the fish. And a grown up daughter. Thats the hard bit after the tide has gone out you have to pick up all the debris off the shore and feed the kids while trying to build a new boat lol
There is always two sides and both lose something. I cant ever see me getting married again. At the moment it is hard to even date as I have three kids the dog the cat and the fish. And a grown up daughter. Thats the hard bit after the tide has gone out you have to pick up all the debris off the shore and feed the kids while trying to build a new boat lol
well four years on and I am much happier following my second divorce. Its painful, but on the other side of the mountain the sun comes up and its looks brighter and feels warmer especially if you just ridden over the mountain on your motor cycle. I never would have felt that joy riding through the night and seeing the stars and smelling the night air and realised that my marriage was not a patch on this. (sometimes though after a really long ride it would be nice to come home to two big arms and a big warm hug (sentimentality creeping in lol) keep riding !!!
well four years on and I am much happier following my second divorce. Its painful, but on the other side of the mountain the sun comes up and its looks brighter and feels warmer especially if you just ridden over the mountain on your motor cycle. I never would have felt that joy riding through the night and seeing the stars and smelling the night air and realised that my marriage was not a patch on this. (sometimes though after a really long ride it would be nice to come home to two big arms and a big warm hug (sentimentality creeping in lol) keep riding !!!
oh man, i remarried my ex--yup i did that ....getting away from the stress, the fighting, over everthing, including my children...i left 2 1/2 years ago i left and did not look back...i'm still in therapy!! if it ain't workin for ya..i believe for your own sanity and peace of mind & and for the peace of being away from it all...you know something, for a year after you split
you can still hear thier voice in your head...like going to a concert, then stepping outside in the quiet night air and you can still feel your eardrums full of muffeled sound....than when you can finally hear again...you ex-hale and enjoy the quiet...peace to you...aj
sometimes a divorce is the only answer,my x gave me a choice ,my 16 yr old son who was unstable at the time (not his child) or him I had to leave my home and start all over but if given the same choice i would do it again. the way i see it he did me a favor
Yes it is worth it and no it isn't. I lost daily contact with my kids, but then they got to see dad in a light of his own. We have a great relationship, and they eventually came to live with me, but it was hard telling them. As for the ex? well shucks,,, I am off riding and fishing and dancing and ....gosh isn't life grand!!!!!!
Easytex74 write:
After 19 years it was time for the divorce,now time has past and my ex and I get along great now.I think people need to talk about their divorce,it helps in the healing process.Was the divorce worth it,Hell yes! My kids are happier now(atleast they say they are),I'm happier,don't know if my ex can be happy but I hope she is.After trying everything we could I realized there was nothing else to do but get the divorce.It's been 5 years,and I may not be the happiest man on earth,but I am happy!
Hi there...it has also been 5 years for me.We are friends now and I am definetly happier now then I was then.Every once in a while I think what if I stayed with him? then I think of how my life has evolved into a very happy one , and I think gosh am I glad I did it.totally worht it.
You can't make anyone else happy if you arent!!!!!
After 19 years it was time for the divorce,now time has past and my ex and I get along great now.I think people need to talk about their divorce,it helps in the healing process.Was the divorce worth it,Hell yes! My kids are happier now(atleast they say they are),I'm happier,don't know if my ex can be happy but I hope she is.After trying everything we could I realized there was nothing else to do but get the divorce.It's been 5 years,and I may not be the happiest man on earth,but I am happy!
I would much prefer to see you on the sixth go around !!! Is alimony included in this....? lol
I can see many of you guys now....thinking, that the "other option" might be good for me :)
DITTO what he said............LOL......nothing like riding peaceful and alone then in a truck, or house fighting. I love my new ride......Az is a lovely place to ride alone......I find friends are like jeans they wear out........need some patches ;) yell at me where its smiling
softail1999 write:
Ladyhawk wrote: have NEVER regretted my divorce even though I came out on the short end of the money issue. Just wasn't worth fighting over. Getting out was worth it all. I feel better, look younger, and enjoy life more than ever. I would still like to have someone "special" to share my life with but I can do without marriage again.
I feel was worth it all Ladyhawk. I would still like to be married again though. I guess old fashioned that way. With the commitment and vows and all. Relationships take understanding, acceptance and forgiveness, which my ex lacked. It should be a part of all of us.. But nowadays seems many people lacking in one of these or all for that matter. Just my thoughts and feelings on this.. Take Care...
Softail,
Nothing wrong with being old fashioned. We all have our personal preferences about things. I'm not saying I wouldn't consider marriage sometime in the future if the right person comes along and asks. Its just that I have no desire to pursue it any time in the near future. It is hard enough finding someone to get along with as friends.
softail1999 write:
Ladyhawk wrote: have NEVER regretted my divorce even though I came out on the short end of the money issue. Just wasn't worth fighting over. Getting out was worth it all. I feel better, look younger, and enjoy life more than ever. I would still like to have someone "special" to share my life with but I can do without marriage again.
I feel was worth it all Ladyhawk. I would still like to be married again though. I guess old fashioned that way. With the commitment and vows and all. Relationships take understanding, acceptance and forgiveness, which my ex lacked. It should be a part of all of us.. But nowadays seems many people lacking in one of these or all for that matter. Just my thoughts and feelings on this.. Take Care...
I am not so sure its as many as you think lacking in on or all of these...I just think its so easy to get give up these days...I think we have givin up talking to each other...All I know is I will not live the next 40 years of my life fighting or stressing...I am not perfect and i am not beautiful...but i am a good woman and when i find the rigt person...I will make him and he will make me happy...But divorce is easy these days...I love my ex with all my heart...but i broke his heart when i left him...but if i had tried harder maybe i could have made it work...who knows...
Ladyhawk wrote: have NEVER regretted my divorce even though I came out on the short end of the money issue. Just wasn't worth fighting over. Getting out was worth it all. I feel better, look younger, and enjoy life more than ever. I would still like to have someone "special" to share my life with but I can do without marriage again.
I feel was worth it all Ladyhawk. I would still like to be married again though. I guess old fashioned that way. With the commitment and vows and all. Relationships take understanding, acceptance and forgiveness, which my ex lacked. It should be a part of all of us.. But nowadays seems many people lacking in one of these or all for that matter. Just my thoughts and feelings on this.. Take Care...
galews write:
It was very costly, but yes, in the end it was worth it. I like who I am now, and I am no longer a paycheck to someone who really didnt care.
Costly!! Totally agree with you but well worth it.. Hell liveing in WI I got stuck with half her credit card bills-Didnt help that she used them to help set herself up in a new place either.. But well worth it.. No longer have to stock up on "Zantec" or "Pepto" hehe... Im in Much better health without her. And, ROMANCE NOVELS begone....lmfao...
I have NEVER regretted my divorce even though I came out on the short end of the money issue. Just wasn't worth fighting over. Getting out was worth it all. I feel better, look younger, and enjoy life more than ever. I would still like to have someone "special" to share my life with but I can do without marriage again.
